Category Archives: Shorts

Memory for the Public

Memory of You | Reflection of Me from ApostrophePong on Vimeo.

When Tony Hollingsworth asked me if he could post this film on his blog, Black Dog Ride, raising awareness of depression, initially, I turned him down. But after I wrote the blog post last evening with tears in my eyes, Stilgherrian reminded me that I told him I would consider open it up to promote the EXiST fundraising campaign.

The only reason I did not put the short film to the public was some film festival rule about the works on the Internet. However, I only shopped around the festivals with no entry fee which they did not restrict to that rule. Most of all, it will be fair to let the supporters see how I intend to make a trilogy mental health on DASS (Depression Anxiety Stess Scale). And to see the first one is the best way for it.

Creative Commons License
Memory of You | Reflection of Me by ‘Pong is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

The Lemon Association

Ass Sew See Asian

Imagine you are holding a lemon in your hand, you can see its bright yellow colour and feel its shiny, holey skin. Then you cut it in half and it bursts with juice. Finally, you pick one half and squeeze it. The fluid comes out of its flesh and the citric scent is extracted from its rind. While I am writing about this lemon, my mouth starts to water.

That was the exercise I had in a psychology session last week about how our experiences associated with our behaviours.

We always have a voice to stop or encourage us to take actions of something. Either an angel or a devil, it is the product of our minds. And it is so powerful that could become an enticement or an obstruction to our goals.

To me, making film is about making understanding to predominately improve myself and hopefully to make an impact to others. And it is more about the process that the result. And I am in the process of getting over those fears in my mind, which have been blocking my path to the destination.

This is where the EXiST campaign comes in place. I want to overcome the fears I have in terms of getting out there and realising the project. The most vicious product of my mind that stands between the human connection and I is the association of the threats I experienced in my childhood with how I perceive the world.

My own big brother who, today, would, be diagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder abused me psychologically, sometimes, physically. And one of his best friends secretly had a sexual relationship with me. Living as victim of your own family had shaped perspective even though I managed to stand up for myself and moved on after the years of adolescence. I fought back against my brother and ended that casual affair I felt I was being taken advantage of.

My life turned upside down from a shy and reserved boy that was a target of bullying to energetic head of the cheerleaders in high school sport day that lived a double life with cool kids outside school and sneaked out at night for clubbing. Then I surprised everyone with the result that I got into one of the best universities in communication study in Thailand. I was very proud of the transition and the direction I paved it myself. However, I did not realise there was a sleeper deep down there.

That experience of being targeted by people around you was suppressed until I moved to Sydney. The first years of living in an estranging culture was a rough period. I was not able to create works because I could not use my writing skills and my visual expression was not rediscovered until later and it needed, still does, to be developed. The sense of worthlessness gradually grew on me as I tried to make a living in the overly expensive metro with the job I hated in hospitality.

At that point, the sleeper had been woken up and dominated my view that the world was not to be trusted. They would humiliate me like my brother had assaulted me, exploit me like his friend had molested me, and most of all, desert me like my parents had overlooked me. In the recent years, I blamed that on the people I loved and on myself like I had taken that on those people in my earlier life. It went down in the whirlpool of depression, anxiety, denial, irritation and recreational activities.

And that is the homework from the session—to identify those fears that stop me from making an attempt to promote the project and make it exist. It is a good exercise. It is not very easy to bare your soul to world but every time when the project gets a supporter, it is not just one little step closer to make the film EXiST for a good cause but it also makes me believe that those humiliation, exploitation and desertion are just the association of my mind produced from scraps of the past.

Image credit:

Sleep Pattern

Sleep Pattern from ApostrophePong on Vimeo.

We spend almost half of our lifetime on bed and we are not really conscious of it. I have been photographing abandoned mattresses on the streets for quite sometime. The stains, burn, gash and mold that are left on those mattresses exhibit the subliminal imprints of our dreams and memories.

This work was produced as a project for Sound Construction class and video installation assessment in Video Art class for Master of Digital Media at College of Fine Arts, Sydney.

My Film at Fordham Fest

For the ones in UK, Memory of You | Reflection of Me will be screened in Strawberry Shorts Film Marquee as a part of Fordham Music Festival this year. I believe this the first time the short film will be premiered outside Australia. Originally, I submitted the film for Strawberry Fair in Cambridge but unfortunately, it has been officially cancelled. However, the Fair organiser is invited to have their own stage in the Festival.

Apart from the film being shown amongst with other interesting film, I find it is quite amazing to see local communities support each other. I have done event management in the past life in Thailand but most of them were commercial and they were not cheap. My bosses were willing to slash their fees when it came to community works and they actually somehow made us proud.

If anyone has a chance to be at Fordham Music Festival, please check out the Strawberry Fair Stage. The films in the program are very interesting to see. To be specific, my film is scheduled on Programme 9, 7 August, 10.30pm-12.30am.